Thursday, Jul. 24, 2003 - 1:57 PM
September 2002 Update: Another month has come and gone. Time sure does fly by but why does it seem as we are "in the moment" at times it seems as if the clock barely moves at all? I think a lot of home bound people can relate to that. I have had a pretty rough month. It wouldn't be half as bad if the weather were cooler but having bronchitis several times over the summer (I am waiting to see if it has eventually turned into pneumonia which is something that is pretty critical to someone who is on several chemo therapy meds and has been on steroids for over 7 years...my immune system is zilch) Anyway, I have been hot and cranky...believe me...I am definitely not an angel and certainly NOT a saint. Just ask those who know and love me best. It is hard to keep my chin up and smile when I feel so lousy and also now my other hip has decided to start to turn to dust. I have to pretty much wait for it to collapse before anyone will do anything because I am such a surgical risk. SIGH! What a downer this month's message is.
Also, I haven't been able to go to church in months. The weather is just too hot for me and also because of my infections and pain levels. I really miss going to Mass. Hopefully, I will be able to go this week. Every week I look forward to going and plan just as if I am...and we just approach it as a "wait and see" sort of thing. Tom is also an Eucharistic Minister now so he serves as my homebound minister. Plus, our church is really good about having the priest come out about ever couple of months for anointing of the sick (or more often if the need is there)
One thing I do have to say is that I have definitely found myself closer to God through my illness. How on earth could I possibly go through any of this if I didn't have faith? I don't know how people can go through such trials without faith. I truly don't . It has also made Tom and I much closer. Unfortunately, some couples go to the other extreme, and illness or any sort of crisis drives them further apart. We decided to stick it out...our vows were said from the heart...in sickness and in health...for richer or poorer, for better or worse. I know that I would be there for Tom if the situation were reversed.
Everything in life can teach us a lesson. Not all lessons are going to be enjoyable and frankly, some might be a bit tough to swallow..might rough up our pride a bit...but that is how we grow. Look back on your life and think of your favorite teacher or coach. Is it the coach or teacher who just let you slide by? Or is it the coach or teacher who expected the BEST from you because he/she knew you could GIVE the best??
So, for me, right now, my "job" is to wake up each morning and give my all to fighting off the waves of depression. Although I must shield my eyes from the glare of the sunshine because of my visual problems, I try to let God's light of love surround me through music.
I have discovered the pleasure of large print books from the local library.
I long for the cooler weather when I can go outside and feel that breeze on my face. There is nothing that is more heavenly to me. I just stand there and it feels like angels kissing my skin.
In closing, this web site has always been a place for me to come and "work for the Lord". There are many times when I have been working on my site and I have been able to forget about the pain for a while...and that is a truly wonderful thing. Those are precious, precious moments. "Working for the Lord" definitely has awesome benefits :)
I appreciate each and every person who takes the time out to send an email or to sign the guestbook. Thanks, too, for sharing your stories of faith and encouragement.
Until next time, may you all be surrounded with the peace and love of our Lord.
Gentle hugs,
Shelley
